what did i do in my past life

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what did i do in my past life?

sometimes i wonder

is it me who's hard to love?

sometimes i wonder

how is it my fault you brought me here?

maybe it is


what did i do in my past life?

i see my mothers pain

and know 

she cannot do anything 

while i am here

and she won't do anything

while i am not


what did i do in my past life?

i see the little girl across the street

the smile strong on her face

with her hand in her dad's

skipping down the sidewalk

stepping on all the cracks

because no one broke

her mother's back


what did i do in my past life?

i speak with an older man

who shows the genuine kindness i couldn't find

so easy

so easy?

so easy.

i wonder who got him

i wish more than anything it was me


what did i do in my past life?

i scream

into the void


no one's there to help you.

haven't you learned that yet?


but how can i help myself


but what did i do in my past life?

it must have been something bad

why did i end up here?

why didn't i end up there?

or anywhere?


everything falls down in circles

over and over

and over

and

over


but then i wonder

what did i do in my past life

to meet these people

to have this passion

to be able to create

to be able to breathe

to be able to love

to be loved

despite where i thought it needed to come from

to see the sunrise

to see the sunset

to know the sun will come again


what did i do in my past life?

does it matter?


what will i do now?

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